Finally I bought the telephone yesterday, and the boy from the telephone office finished his job today. I have my land line phone call in Beijing now, land line phone, hehehe, as Fran said. It was his second time to come to my room. Before he entered, I prayed to the Lord to save him. Amazingly, he saw the Bible on my desk and asked me first about it and what it is about. I was a bit excited, but didn't say too much. I invited him to go to church on Thursday. He said ok. When he left, I gave him some chocolate candy, very nice candy. He first refused to accept. When I said, it is the gift from Jesus, he received. Thanks be to the Lord, one of his sheep is on the way home.

The chinese characters "等候“ constantly appear in Bible.When you study them in Chinese version Bible, they are easily translated into one English word "wait".That is the reason why some Christians misunderstand it sometimes, so did I. They do nothing but study Bible or pray, it may happen in some cases, but it is not basically what the Lord means. It has the meaning of "wait" in the presence of the Lord, yet it mainly means to "put the hope in the Lord." and put the hope in the word of God(why singular???). The pastor of the Sunday's sermon also mentioned Joshep" patiently wait", and David "silently wait". Wait for what? the living word of God, I suppose. As Watchman Nee said," when the word of the Lord comes, the light of God will enter the deepest of ours, our souls and spirits will naturally be departed."(当主的话一来，神的光就进到我们深处，)......

 

Last night, I was reading the Book "The Spiritual Man" by Watchman Nee and wrote down his words about "feeling" for I was an emotional person. According to his instruction, the vital importance for a christian is to divide his spirit and soul using the word of God by the Holy Spirit, so that he will no longer be influenced by his soul, therefore he can belong to the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, his life is easily changed by his feeling, sense, mind and emotion etc.As he said, John, the writer of "Revelation" and some other books, gave us a vivid example that his spirit was totally free from anything. Spiritually speaking, Patmos island was a good place of leading our spirits up to the Heaven, and in this island, John seemed to loose any senses towards the outside world and have no feeling at all for he was totally attracted by the Holy Spirit. He was entering the spiritual world, focusing on the word of God only.

Watchman Nee continued to say, "you should deny any emotional life."(你应该弃绝所有感觉的生活)。"All your feelings shall calm down(or die), which means you should be tore down outwardly(outman)"你的感觉要完全冷静下来，这需要你外面的人被拆毁". Spirit is in your soul as if your hands are in the gloves. You can not have a right judgement if your soul is full of ideas, feelings, will, and thoughts, etc. The right judgement lies on the mind of Christ. Therefore, christians should spend whole lives learning on how to escape from subjective feeling.(基督徒一生要学习脱离主观的感觉) Believe in the truth only, don't follow our feelings.(只相信客观的事实，不要跟着感觉走)。The more we live in the truth, the more we can escape from the emotional life.(我们越活在感觉里，就越是脱离感觉的生活)。And remember not to analyse accuratly where you are in the feeling or in the truth. When you cann't judge, pay no attention to any feeling. Hold on the truth only. God tells us how to feel, I will feel as what he says.(神怎么说我就怎么感觉！！！)......"

When I wrote down the notes here, I put my words besides, "In what circumstances, you should be joyful." I shall be happy, and this is the commandment in Jesus Christ. I finally closed the book and went to bed.But I didn't sleep well last night.

Today was the Lord's day, I went to the church early this morning. Wheneve I entered this little church, I somehow remembered the verse " the door of the sheep", maybe because the door was vey narrow and long. There were just a couple of minutes before the sermon, I found a seat and sat there, praying. I mentioned a couple of verses in my prayer, "rejoice always","give myself as a living sacrifice","love the lord with all my heart, my mind, my soul and my strenght" and also the verse from ,Philippians 4:6,7 "do not be anxious about anything,....."

The sermon started as usual, we all stood up and the pastor led our prayer to the Lord. The pastor said a very profound prayer which mentioned "ask the Lord to keep our mind and our thoughts, lead us into the deepest of the Heart and so on," just in the accordance with the my prayer and my cirumstance right now. Then I know the Holy Spirit will talk to me later. As expected, he delivered the sermon titled "Rejoice". I just can't believe that. Verses are: Habakkuk 3:17,18,19 "rejoice in the Lord", Philippians 4:4-20,"Rejoice in the Lord always," and 1 Thessalonians 5:16,"Be joyful always".(We christians sometimes say it is hard to understand the will of God, it is said clearly, "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, that is God's will in Jesus Christ.When I go back to beijing this time, I have his commandment and the will of God now.) In his sermon, he said Mary, the Holy mother, put her joy in the Lord."我心尊主为大，我灵以神我的救主为乐"(live out the name given by the Lord.) She delighted in the Lord. the Lord was her delight. She was joyful in the Lord. That reminded me of what Watchman Nee said about love. I loved the Lord because I was loved. I was joyful because I was loved.That is not true love, as what Watchman Nee said, it is just to satisfy yourself. And now the Lord is teaching me what true love is. He is the source of true love. The pastor also said to us "do everything for the Lord" and he asked us to learn to be joyful in doing everything. He especially said, "Rejoice, doesn't mean to do what you like, instead, you should like what you do."

That reminds me of the sentences, my former moto, "happiness means doing what you love and loving what you do." I even once said, "do and continue to do what you love, that is the most important, that is what most of people lack of, the perseverance."

Oh, my Lord, my God. I somehow know what the Lord will lead me when I go back to Beijing. It is so hard, Lord, I can't do without you. I can't do even now I have you. I just can't finish it. Lord, it is so hard. Holy Spirit, will you give me new strength? Holy Spirit, please grow up. Please I have received Fisher Gao's prayer for signle sisters before the holiday, in my letter back to her, I said,

"当主耶稣成了我们内心深处最大的满足和喜乐的时候， 真爱也就不期而至了。让我们定睛仰望主，愿他成为我们真爱的源头."When Jesus Christ, our Lord becomes our satisfaction and our great delight, true love will naturally come. Let us put our hope in the Lord, for he is the source of our true love." Dear Lord, Jesus Christ, how much I want to know you day by day.

OT---- To Christ

NT---- In Christ

Lord, plz leads me into you. deeply know you.

Know God, and Jesus Christ, that is the eternal life.

Versers from the book"the Spiritual Man by Watchman Nee", part one: Spirit, soul and body

1)" May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."-1 Thessalonians 5:23

2)"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."- Hebrews 4:12

3)"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." --- Romans 8:16.

When I look back on the Psalm 23, I find it says
4) "He restores my soul".

5)The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.----Romans 8:16

Compare with NT and OT: NT:

1)love the Lord with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.--- Mark12:30 ----

2)with understanding---Mark 12:33

3)love the lord with heart, soul and spirit. ----Matthew 22:37

4)love the lord with heart, soul,strength and mind. ---Luke 10:27 OT: love the lord with heart, soul and might(strength)

the mind of Christ- renewing of your mind---Romans 12:2 It is a weird thing that the word "mind" doesn't appear in the verse "love the lord with.....", yet it constantly appears in OT in other verses. When we talk about old self dies, it refers mainly to the renewing of the mind. As Paul says, "what counts for is a new creature." It is totally thing inside, instead of outside, or it should start inside, as Watchman says, the Spirit works his own inside. That reminds me of a verse in Isaiah 30:15, quietness and rest has great power. the mind of Christ the purity of mind ---- association with others, relationship with others "Rember: don't work hard, instead wisely.

I am closing to something, meanwhile, I am nervous and couldn't sleep well.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles."

 

The pictures' order is: 3456712

I have received a letter from Wen liang. He told me that he graduated from Nanjing Seminary and worked in Guangzhou City Church before. For some reason he left, and then he was a translator in a Koren company, now he left and wanted to find a better company. To tell the truth, I was so shocked when I first knew he was from Nanjing Seminary and he used to work in the church. There are only three letters I have received, yet he mentioned three times in the letters that it was very hard to make a living, hard to live something, even at the church.Soon later,I wrote a letter back to him. In the letter, I said,

 "Thank you for telling me and sharing with me, the Lord be with us. And the Lord knows your weakness through our communication, that is the pleasant will of the Lord. Because whatever happens, the Lord is with you and keeps you. He says to us that he forsakes none of us for "HE DOES NOT DENY HIMSELF", whatever happens to you is permitted by the Lord, and the circumstances are also what you can bear. But if you really fell so tired,(for I was always tired), then please don't do anything, just take a good rest, go to sleep, let him do. As a matter of fact, the road is just in front of us, but when we hurry up with anxiety, we can see nothing, it seems that you want to hold on something with all you strength, yet you hold nothing. Blessed to the ones who hold on the Lord and the truth, because we believe we have a true and living father, our father in the heaven, we are adopted children because of Jesus Christ. Do you believe that our Lord has overcome the world, do you believe that God put everything in the Hand of the Lord? Put your hope in the lord, believing our lord has overcome the world, and he has prepared everything beautiful to you, put your faith on it, only faith, just believe in it. Though you have nothing yet now, believe the Lord has already given to you, with the eyes of the faith to see the things given by the Lord, then you will succeed, because our Lord is the biggest winner. because he says, ".... believe you have already received, then you will receive. "Though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity,..... " every child of the Lord had expericen of hard living. I remembered when I returned back from Shenzhen city, I didn't know what the Lord wants me to do, so I remaind staying, reading Bible and praying everyday, without going to work. I ate very little everyday and lived underground, life was very hard at that time, and still others misundestood me. thanks be to the Lord, he led me out.So one day when you return to the church, standing on the stage, you will deliever the mosts powerful message to the young children of the Lord, because you have had the same experience of advesity, you have also falled and been tested yet the Lord is always with you and help you out, you can share your beautiful testimony with them, telling that the Lord is living now, fight for every child on the earth, to overcome the world one by one. Eveyone wants to live a beautiful life, yes, indeed, that is the reason why the Lord came and died for us, he gave us lives and the life to the full, so that our dreams will come true with the help of the Lord. Of course, I will pray for you, and remember that even there is no body in the world praying for you, yet our Lord is praying for you, he is sitting at the right hand of our father, praying for you, and never stop praying for you. So do noting at all, entrust all your burden to the Lord, and let him do. Take a good rest and listen to the music, enjoy the life given by the Lord, sometimes I am so filled with the thanksgiving, just because he created me and elected me from the world, he loves me......."

It was a pity that he gave me a quick answer that he wanted to earn much money for his parents, though he agreed with me. I still pray for him and believe he will be back to the church one day, because our Lord doesn't forsake him, because He loves us to the end, because he doesn't not deny himself. Wen liang brother, whatever you want to do now, our Lord is with you and he is still guiding you. God bless. cana

"Spiritual man" is the book a sister gave to me when I was in Shenzhen city two years ago. When I returned back home this time, I once again read it and found it was very spiritual but I never thought so before, later I knew it was written by Watchman Nee. I totally agreed with him that I should read the book several times. It was such a deeply spiritual book that I feel so hard to finish it. But the most important thing is that the Lord wants me to focus on the "mind" and also the "Battlefield of the mind" as what Joyce Meyer wrote about in her book.The reason why I couldn't finish it because I felt it was to hard to face it or to face myself. I somehow felt I was so dirty in my spirit and my soul, and my body as well, the word "dirty" was like Demon catching me day and night, I couldn't face it because when I read his words, I can feel his words like "two-edged"swords diving my soul and spirit or like a light shining in my mind, but I was not ready to face it. And I know I am still two young, I am only 5-year old in the kingdom of the Lord. There are a lot of brothers and sisters around me falling down or strumbling because they are not ready to fight as soliders. I decided to close the book and put it aside and open Bible and I have peace again.But later,I pick it up again. Since the Lord knows me that I have a passion and a reason to live for, is that I give myself as a living sacrifice to the Lord, for I would like to love him " with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul, and all my strenght", And amazingly the truth set me free, I suddenly was revealed by the truth what the "living sacrifice" really means when I listened to the sermon last lord's Day. As Paul says, "...... what counts is a new creature." I was joyful inside these days for having such a close intimacy with the Lord as if I have been fallen in love with him for a long time, I am in love with him, "..... have not seen him, yet you love him", it is not that I am thinking of the verse when I wake up or sleep, it is the verse that minds me whenever I am now. It seems that the word is living like the Lord is living and it is with me as if the Lord is with me.